The Lamest Part of Waking Up

Grown Woman: “Morning, Daddy Dearest!”
Father: “Princess, while this economy has been hard on all of us, it does seem a little ridiculous that you’re living at home in your late 20s or early 30s.”
Grown Woman: “Good thing I have a man to support me!”
Father: “Indeed, darling. And on the subject of your dependence on me, I object to the hour at which you came home last night.”
Grown Woman: “Yeah, one silver lining of the recession is no matter how long I stay unemployed, beer still works.”
Father: “Sweetheart! You are a woman! If you’re going to stay out late drinking, make it white wine. Or appletinis, if you MUST.”
Grown Woman: “Daddy…” [extends left hand, adorned with delicate engagement ring] “another man will be ordering for me from now on.”
Father: “Oh, Angel Pie. Does Todd know that you get really cunty around that time of the month?”
Grown Woman: “DAAAAHHHH-D.”
“Just kidding. I warned him when we negotiated the transfer of you to his property last week. Knocked a few grand off the dowry!”
Grown Woman: [Smiles with surprise and relief!] “I never thought a guy who can belch my full name would go through the proper channels like that. I’m not making a terrible mistake marrying him! I love you, Daddy.”
Father: “I’ll love you even when another man owns you, Baby Girl.”


2 responses to “The Lamest Part of Waking Up

  1. god, most commercials are bad (especially any wedding related ones!).

    p.s. I would buy this coffee in a heartbeat if they changed their slogan to include “the lamest part of waking up”

  2. I want you to write a transcript for every commercial. Ready, go.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s