Enablers

I’m going to come clean on a major wedding privilege I have…

Have you ever heard people talk about “Anthropologie weddings?”  I think it is when you aspire to the “estate sale minus the dust and musky odors” aesthetic of an Anthropologie store in creating the look of your wedding. It is probably a very expensive undertaking and likely results in a lot of worrying about trends:  Bird motif is too played out!  What about turtles?  Snails?  Yes: mustard Yellow Snails on lilac and smoke gingham. (I’m not so far off).

I would never have thought of Anthropologie stores as a source of wedding inspiration, at least not for my wedding, even after the blogs got to me.  I’m just not that crafty! Or that chic.

But… here’s my big secret:  Collin’s twin sister Carrie worked at Anthropologie as an art designer.  She set up those coffee filter clouds and those antique bathtubs full of rice and mismatched china and so on and so forth for at least a year before moving on to her current apprenticeship with a woodworker.  If I really wanted an Anthro wedding, I would have an insider on my team.

And Collin’s mom is an artist too.  So last night after the three of us enjoyed a little wine we started talking about my kooky no-flowers scheme, and bouquet alternatives.  Viki and Carrie got BIG IDEAS about making bouquets out of wire and scrap metal and wire mesh.  I’ve seen wire bouquets on Etsy and they’re always a few hundred bucks, just like  regular bouquets.  But my ARTIST in-laws are all, “Oh, we’ve got a scrap guy.  We can do something really fun and unique and oh my gosh I’m so excited!”

And the thing is, I am excited too!  Metal bouquets!  LOVE!  But I also have this sinking feeling that this is way above my pay grade, and how much can I convert DIY into DIFMIL (“Do it for me, in-laws”) without asking too much of them?

Plus, once I go down the path of caring about details, is there no turning back?  Will I be goccoing invites?  (I don’t even know what goccoing is, except for that you have to find the machine to do it on eBay.)   Will I embroider the chargers for our place settings?  Will I cobble my own wedding shoes?  Where does it end?

(Deep breath.) Hopefully it ends exactly where I stop actually caring, which will coincide neatly with what I have the time and money to care about, as well as with the skill sets possessed by me and my family and friends.  That’s the dream.

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16 responses to “Enablers

  1. I love skillful family and friends! My aunt, who the entire family lovingly refers to as Fronk ala Father of the Bride, is my wedding fairy.
    And I told her, “I’m going to ask a lot of you because you are great. But I’ll keep checking in to make sure I don’t bog you down!” and I try to do that. I feel like I’m putting a lot of work on her and she keeps saying, “I don’t feel like I’m doing anything! What else is there!”

    And yeah, I’m pretty sure you’ll stop caring at a good point. I have a few details I’m crazy about making awesome. But my centerpieces? I think they are annoying and I don’t really care. 🙂

    And I’m super excited to see your wire bouquet! The possibilities!!!

    • Now Viki is worried about the wire bouquets having edges that might snag the dresses. We’re just going to have to throw a little test money at it and see how it goes.

      Also centerpieces are thus far my least favorite thing about weddings, and I hope I am able to ignore them as breezily as you are.

  2. I could not finish this post, because I passed out when you said Collin’s sister used to design for Anthropologie. I would totally hate myself for this if I were conscious.

    • ONE TIME! Before I met Collin. I wrote little notes for Carrie and hid them inside the installations. For weeks after, Carrie’s coworkers would find them and deliver them to her saying, “You have another one of those weird notes.” I bet at the time she would not have guessed I would end up her sister-in-law.

  3. You make an excellent point, I feel like a lot of people make craftiness/DIY an all or nothing venture. And us engaged ladies sit here trying to wade through the gray area, where to draw the line (and then run another 100 yards away from that line). Because when we see those “DIY weddings” I can guarantee that they didn’t DIY EVERYTHING. And like you said, it ends when you don’t care. Ahh wedding/life lessons: pick and choose your battles.

  4. I hadn’t seen wire bouquets yet, that’s awesome! It sounds like they volunteered their services because they’re excited about it for its own sake and of course, because they love you, so I don’t think you need to worry about imposing on them too much.

    • Yes! You should have heard Carrie talking about her DIY invitations: “You just line ’em up, stamp stamp stamp, then mom goes paint paint paint and then you put them in envelopes and mail ’em.” She’s a very low-key and creative person.

  5. Do it. Every other wedding detail of ours is something someone has or will create for us. Even the ugliest or most non -traditional details mean something to me because my sister made it, or my guy crafted it.

  6. Oh man. I got a mini-panic attack reading this. I freak out about not caring about the details and especially the no turning back part. YIKES!

    p.s. I just accumulated almost 70 mason ball jars in one weekend. And now that I have those, I’m scared that it spoiled me and I’m going to want more and I’ll be so far out there’s no going back to being practical.

    Keep writing about this, please! 🙂

  7. Viki Diedrich

    OH Y GOD, ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now Carrie and I cannot turn it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………..just you wait!……..just you wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Viki Diedrich

    I meant to say OH MY GOD, ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I totally mean it…..I am sure that Carrie will agree!

  9. one thing i’ve trying to learn is to accept help when its offered and not to be such a control freak. people want to help you! also, my borrowed gocco and letterpress christmas are both sitting unopened in my craft room. oops

  10. The parts of the wedding I’m most looking forward to are the joint projects because they give me time with people who matter. I’m trying not to care how they come out – I’m just excited to be doing them with people we love. And if you have the Anthro inside edge with family members who are already awesome, that’s even better.

    I keep telling myself to appreciate process over product. Regardless, the ultimate “product” will be our marriage, regardless of how our invites turn out. Gocco if it’s fun and meaningful, without obsessing over perfection (or at least, try. And drink more wine if the perfection is getting to you). And toss to Gocco if you’d rather just get it over with to focus on the metal bouquets.

    Awesome all around. Can’t wait to see what you all come up with and the fun you’ve all had!

  11. Wow!! I have never heard of a metal bouquet and that is fantastic! Can’t wait to see what you and your creative team come up with!

  12. I am jazzed about the metal bouquet, can’t wait to see it if you decide to do it!

    I’m calling my wedding semi-DIY, and even that drives me nuts a little. And I have a gocco and printed all my envelopes with it. Egads.

    PS: I worked at Anthro for a summer as a side job and got to help the designers from time to time. What a fun job your fsil had! Painting bookshelves and decoupaging furnishings was a lot more fun than sweeping up dust bunnies in the fitting room, fo sho.

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