Collin recently suggested that instead of renting tuxes, our groomsmen wear their favorite black suits. He thinks that rented tuxes never fit well and look crummy. He wants everyone to look sharp and be comfortable.
I worry that our groomsmen don’t actually all have black suits, and I don’t want to make them buy something as pricey as a nice suit. And when you bring in the male members of the Bridal Hootenanny, who will help walk me down the aisle, I’m almost sure not everyone owns a black suit. And some of them live paycheck to paycheck, so asking them to buy a suit feels cruel and unusual.
[Sidebar: some of the women in the Bridal Hootenanny also have constrained finances, but I suspect nearly all of them will end up buying new dresses. I think it is about a billionty times easier to find a perfectly lovely yet inexpensive formal dress than it is to find an inexpensive well-tailored suit. So I am considering this to be not so much a double standard, but rather two sets of circumstances.]
Also, I love tuxedos. Especially with bow ties and cummerbunds! I want to put “black tie welcome” on our invitations and hope that as many dudes as possible show up in tuxedos. If the men standing up at the ceremony are wearing suits, even if they are super nice ones that are expertly tailored and they all look like a million bucks, we have to set a different formality for the wedding. I am not comfortable suggesting guests wear tuxedos and then putting on a ceremony without any.
Let’s break it down:
- I love them.
- When rented, affordable.
- Easy to obtain.
- Too expensive and impractical to expect people to buy them.
- When rented, imprecisely tailored.
- I would have to convince Collin.
- Collin wants this.
- Some of the guys will have to spend no new money.
- Will be better tailored.
- Will be worn again.
- Not everyone has a nice one that fits.
- Which will yield, for some, considerable expense.
- Not matching.
- Less formality than I envisioned for the wedding.
[Sidebar 2, Re: Matching: For the ladies, the current plan is I’ll pick out matching bridesmaid dresses for our sisters in the Bridal Party. They all have the same body type, they all have money to spend on a dress and alterations. I’ve never entirely gotten over the traditional images of bridesmaids in matching dresses, no matter how out of style it is at the current moment. As for the Bridal Hootenanny, I’m going to select a color pallet, provide some style guidelines, and let them find a dress that fits their body/personal preferences/budget. This will probably be extremely delicate and complicated and be the subject of many posts to come! Anyway, having unmatching dresses in the extended group of honor attendants, in my opinion, doesn’t reduce the general formality of the event. In contrast, men in unmatching suits to me, knocks down the formality a good bit. This is probably just a double standard.]
My conclusion is either I need to convince Collin that tuxedos are the superior option, or I need to warm up to suits. Thus, I hereby solicit your persuasive photos of men in penguin suits, or your best Convincing John routine about how I should get over myself regarding formality and matchingness and embrace suits.