Ringless

We’re sending my engagement ring back to be fitted with my wedding band/to have the birthstones on the inside of the band fixed [it is supposed to have Collin’s birthstone (peridot) and my birthstone (emerald), but they gave us a peridot and an amethyst instead.  Which, coincidentally, are my dead parents’ birthstones.  Which is creepy.  And then the peridot fell out.  So right now I just have an amethyst inside my engagement band.  Weird.]

Our jeweler was ready for me to send in the ring over a week ago, but I refused to part with it until after Halloween.  I didn’t want to deal with avoiding kissy-faced strangers at the gigantic Halloween party we’re going to without the easy way out of flashing a ring.  I realize now that I’ve avoided kissing randoms at this party for two years running without a ring, so I don’t know what seemed so offensive about being without it this year.  I guess the ring has made me soft.

Fortunately, I’m weaning myself from my ring before we send it away on Monday.  I’ve been doing manual labor all week to assist in the construction of this gigantic Halloween party (I will have to write an entire post about this party and its wedding-planning lessons), spending my days with my ring tucked into the key pocket of paint-covered jeans.  I got used to it not being on my finger surprisingly quickly.  But I have to admit at the end of every day, slipping my ring back on gave me a rush of warm, happy, feelings.

I haven’t decided if I’ll wear an engagement ring pro tem.  I would like to, but I don’t really have a contender.  I am allergic to inexpensive metals, and the only nice rings I have are heirlooms that don’t quite fit or are too delicate for me to feel comfortable wearing all day.

Anyone else have to send away her ring for a time?  Was it hard to part with it? How did you deal?

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15 responses to “Ringless

  1. “Engagement ring pro tem.” Hahaha.

  2. We had to relinquish my engagement ring twice to the jeweler before we got married – once to fix an uneven prong and the other time to get the wedding band made. Both times he kept it for about two weeks. (Yeah, the guy was slow. Good, but slow.) It did feel weird not having it, especially since those four weeks altogether saw me going to a lot of wedding-related meetings, hair/makeup trials, etc. I grew kind of rebelliously defiant when vendors would sneak peeks at my ring finger or actually ask about where the ring was.

  3. “But I have to admit at the end of every day, slipping my ring back on gave me a rush of warm, happy, feelings.”

    I love this. I take my ring off each night and put it in its box, because it’s a very delicate antique ring with pearls and coral (beautiful and totally me, yes; practical to wear for rest of my life, no) which I don’t want to wear in the shower or get covered in moisturizer every morning. And I learnt the hard way (read: major panic when I though it’d fallen down the drain) that taking my ring off in the bathroom is a bad move. So I just take it off each night, put it in its little red ring box on my bedside table, then put it back on each morning after I’m showered and non-greasy! And I get a little of that “rush of warm, happy feelings” every day!

    I haven’t had to part with it yet though but will soon when I get my wedding band made. But I have a ‘spare’ engagement ring to wear, to avoid a prolonged naked ring finger feeling. The ‘spare’ ring is a mixture of the women in my family – my Mum’s setting (which she designed herself – it’s cool and 1970s and asymmetrical), two small diamonds from my late grandmother, and a new larger diamond which was a birthday present from my fiancé. I know that despite my carefulness I probably won’t be able to wear my antique pearl ring for ever, so eventually it’ll become a special occasion ring and I’ll shift my ‘spare’ (but still v meaningful) ring from right ring finger to left.

    • Your engagement ring sounds beautiful!

      • Thank you! It was made in London in 1942, so methinks it was once a wartime bride’s ring – not a time when people could afford diamonds. I love that it has history and memories in it already. And the band is gold like yours (ps I love love LOVE coloured gems in a ring – yours is gorgeous) which is more unusual here – most young married/marrying people I know (I’m in Sydney, Australia) have white gold or platinum. Of course I get the “What a pretty ring – oh, it’s your ENGAGEMENT ring?!” comment all the time though…

  4. I sent mine out a few months back to be fitted and was without it for about a week, which happened to coincide with Craig being out of town. I felt like I needed a stand-in, so I wore this old yellow gold celtic knot flat ring that I used to wear back in high school. I found it to be super exciting and can predict that I will mostly wear my wedding band without the engagement ring after we’re married – the understatement just felt awesome to me…

  5. i am also a peridot. beautiful stone. i’m sure it will look lovely with the emerald. i still can’t get over the switch up with the amethyst… one is purple, the other is green. how a mix up like that happens is crazy weird. and i am more superstitious than i like to admit, but, that just plain boggles my mind.

    i haven’t sent my ring away, but i’d imagine i’d feel some separation anxieties.

    • I love our jeweler because my ring is so pretty, but she is kind of a flake. The rendering of the band + engagement ring still have an amethyst in it. I KFC bet Collin they’ll put another amethyst in it. At which point I’ll say it was always about my dead parents (even though that is a little weird) and move on.

  6. Last Halloween I went out thinking I wouldn’t have to worry about guys hitting on me because I had an engagement ring on. Let me tell you friend, an engagement ring is not the kryptonite I thought it would be. Guys still flirted and hooted at me while I walked down the street to the party. (And no, it did not have anything to do with a sexy costume — I was wearing my everyday jeans, a white tshirt, and black flats along with the sushi pillow I made strapped to my back. Not exactly provocative.)

  7. I feel like it would be hard to part with but atleast you are getting exactly what you want and won’t have to part with it again!

  8. I’ve done it twice. Once after getting engaged to get it resized, and then again a few weeks before the wedding to get it engraved. It was gone for a week to a week and a half both times, and I couldn’t deal. I had to wear a cheap silver ring from high school on that finger, just to have something there.

    I hate having it gone. And I’m a little so-so about the actual band, so I can’t see myself wearing only that in the near future. I lubs my engagement ring too much.

    It is an incredibly strange feeling, though, when for one reason or another you’re out without your rings and some lady you know only marginally shrieks “YOU GOT MARRIED LET ME SEE YOUR RING!” and grabs your hand and you’re like, um…. yeah…

  9. I sent mine away for a couple of weeks to get it resized and then they took a SERIOUSLY long time (2 weeks) to get it cleaned once…do I think I still have real diamonds? Maybe.

    I had a weird time with it…especially since I have this HORRIBLE habit of twisting my ring around my finger…so I’ve got a pretty serious scar underneath it…raised plenty of questions.

    Isaiah actually went to Kohl’s and got me an obnoxiously giant $1.29 fake ring to wear once he saw how embarrassed of the scar underneath that I was…maybe?

  10. I became very attached to my ring very quickly! I completely understand why you’re reluctant to part with it – it’s a symbol of the promise you’ve made to get married and you can see it and feel it and it reminds you of your lovely OH!

    I’m going to have mine cleaned before we get married so the wedding ring doesn’t make it look dull in comparison – but I know even now I won’t like it. I’ll be worried they won’t give me the right ring back or they’ll lose it!!

    I dunno if I’ll wear something else whilst it’s away – but I might get a big fake plastic thing like someone else said – I wouldn’t want something pretending to be my real ring, but something obviously fake is quite fun 🙂

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