CONSPIRACY!

Folks, it is February Seven-freakin-teenth and I haven’t gotten the March issue of Brides yet.  Now, there are plenty of rational explanations for this, like there is no March 2011 issue of Brides or  that my free subscription was only for six months, not a year.

But those explanations are boring! So let me throw out this idea: Condé Nast cut me off because of my CRACK REPORTING!

Yes, the dying medium of print is fighting back against my subversive blog tallies.  “If you want to make fun of us, Little Miss HitchDied, you’re going to have to PAY NEWSSTAND PRICES to do it! MWA HA HA!”

Next thing you know they’ll be cutting down trees to print more advertorials about honeymoons in Belize and they’ll “accidentally” fell a gigantic sequoia on my roof. [If you are thinking, “Robin, don’t you live in a totally paved-over neighborhood in Pittsburgh?” I envy your naiveté.   There are powerful PRINT MEDIA forces at work here.  No one is safe!]

Either that or the Post Office is diverting my fun mail because I’ve wasted so many postal worker hours with my undeliverable save the dates [Return-to-sender save the dates were literally THE ONLY THING in our mailbox today. Embarassing!]

But seriously, is there a March 2011 issue of Brides?

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7 responses to “CONSPIRACY!

  1. Damn Conde Nast or the Postal Service!

  2. Or both! They could be in cahoots!

  3. Ok, now I need to go and just sneak a look just to help you out!

  4. HILARIOUS. I signed up for some free subscription to Entrepreneur magazine (after almost 2 years of filling out the occasional survey online, I was so proud to win a “$25” subscription to Entrepreneur…nevermind that I probably spent 40 hours altogether filling out the damn things, the things we’ll do for “free” shit, huh?) Anyways, after all that…only three issues came and then no more. I’m a serious lover of print media, actually..I don’t like reading digital copies of books and what not…I miss the substantial things in the world…but I’m also a lover of trees…so who knows. Anyways, how disappointing. Of course the industry’s gonna die a little bit if they can’t send out the right number of issues!

  5. Um, I got the march issue earlier this week. It’s got a pink cover. I should come clean and admit that I have a full-on magazine addiction in general, so when I got engaged I signed up for a cheapy deal that included brides, modern bride & elegant bride for like $20 to save myself from impulse-buying at obscene newsstand prices. WELL. When the latter two folded, they made up for the loss by extending my subscription for, like, forever. In fact, I’ll keep getting them until Sept 2011, a year and 4 months after our wedding. I get them and flip through them, then pass them on to my engaged friend in choir!

    all of that is to say that, yes, there is a march issue. Maybe the mailman nabbed it? 🙂

  6. Pingback: March 2011 Brides Magazine, by the Numbers | HitchDied

  7. ooh! I would love if they were reading your blog! everything you write about the issues is so on point. also, try calling them. whenever our magazines are late at my work, we call and about 7 issues show up!

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