It’s the first day of Spring. What does that mean? Eggs can balance on their end? No, dummy! Free water ice at Rita’s? Yes, but only if you have the patience to stand in line until Summer. What Spring’s arrival really means for me is the sudden onset of DRESS FEVER.
Dress fever makes you do bold things like interrogate strangers on the street about where they shop. It makes you do foolish things like order from Modcloth and expect your dress to be longer than a necktie. It makes you do reckless things like walk into an Anthropologie store with your credit card on your person.
I’ve been trying to be better about buying stuff I don’t need, what with my income being as puny as it is, and let me assure you: I do not need any more dresses. A full two-thirds of my walk-in closet is dresses. But I’ve got dress fever, and I’ve got it bad.
And the troubling thing is that getting married presents plenty of occasions I “need” a new dress for. Bachelorette party. Wedding shower. Rehearsal dinner. Morning-after brunch. The honeymoon! [I’d make a joke about how I won’t need dresses for the honeymoon because I’ll be naked the whole time, but that would be SUCH a lie and also not very funny.]
I’m powerless against the siren call of spring dresses in a normal year, but with wedding events as excuses I’m bound to get into serious shopping trouble. Thank goodness I don’t feel this way about shoes or I’d have twice as much trouble.
Anyone have a miracle cure for dress fever?