Category Archives: Date

Preanniversary

We’re getting married in one year!

When we set the date for our wedding, our wedding planner suggested we do something romantic on our preanniversary1. We decided we’d finally have this nice bottle of wine we’ve been saving and go to this little Italian restaurant I like and hold hands for hours and stare into each other’s eyes and spontaneously exhale rose petals.

Then we realized that Collin would be off talking to other academics in Massachusetts on our preanniversary. So we scrapped the romantic evening plan and switched to romantic text messaging:

Collin: “1 year!”
Robin: “Woo! I an room excited!”
Robin: “I mean sooo excited.”
Collin: “NOOP”

One year to go! Very exciting. [Here’s hoping the weather is less gross this date next year!]

ETA: Maybe I am bad at romance, but Collin is not:

1I left out the hyphen because in my brain this word sounds like “pran-i-ver-sa-ry.”

July 16, 2011

We made a deposit at our venue. We’re getting married July 16, 2011!

It’s a good feeling.

Also, I love the event manager there.  He’s the most laid back person on the planet.  We asked if having a vegetarian option counts as one of our menu choices, and he said, “No way, we’re not going to charge you for having a few weird friends.”  We asked about spaces where we could have a yichud, and our wedding planner started to explain that it is a time for the bride and groom to have a moment of peace, and Collin interjected, “I thought it was for banging,” and the event manager said, “Yeah that’s where my brain went too.  I wasn’t going to say anything, though.”

Another highlight: as we were walking out, Collin and I kept hugging and kissing, and the hostess said, “Are you getting married?”  I pretty much shouted “YES!”  back at her.

I’m happy!

That’s Why

“Our wedding is going to be beautiful and wonderful and we’ll talk about it forever.”

I realized mid-way through this morning’s bar review lecture on partnerships (irony!) that getting married next July would present something of a conflict to Collin’s brother-in-law Matt (who also introduced us), who will be taking the bar exam next summer.  So I thought, “Ok, fine, I guess we can get married July 30th, after the bar.”  But that felt… so…. far…. away…. so close to August, and I never wanted to get married in the summer in the first place, and at this point I’m sure something else will come up that makes July 30th unavailable, and WHY DON’T WE JUST ELOPE?

[Is there a catchy blog term for those “WHY DON’T WE JUST ELOPE?” moments?  There should be, and I hereby solicit recommendations.   Perhaps we’ll have a general election later.]

Anyway, I texted Collin, “Why don’t we just elope!?”  I drove home.  I found a package with Sarah‘s extra brooches for my bouquet on my front porch.  I received an email from our wedding planner reminding us we have a meeting to lock down our venue and date this weekend.  Collin had responded to the email earlier in the morning with something along the lines of: “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” [Like mother, like son.]

I was starting to remember the things about the wedding that make me feel really happy and excited.

And then Collin called.  He asked me if I got his texts.  I didn’t.  One was from Matt, assuring us he will pass the bar even if we have our wedding mid-July.  The next was the first line of this post.  And Collin is right.  Things will work out, and all of this stress (and all of that money) will be worth having loved ones with us when we start our marriage.

I should probably have Collin’s text printed on a business card and keep it in my wallet for all my future “why don’t we just elope?” moments.

July, She Will Fly

Last weekend we found out that the date we’d put on hold at our venue doesn’t work for Collin’s brother and sister-in-law (they are both in their residencies and need more notice to secure time off).   We need to get married no earlier than July 1, 2011.  This made me cry like a kid whose ice cream scoop just fell on the dirt, mainly because I kept thinking, “I thought I was going to be married in a year, and I’m not.”

And I worried about my elderly and sick relatives dying in the interim, because I worry more than is healthy about that sort of thing.  Then I realized that even if we got married next weekend I couldn’t control for that, which made me cry more, but still helped me move on.

And I worried that our venue wouldn’t have any availability in July, but right now every Saturday is open.  Which is a huge relief and I think has closed the book on me mourning a May wedding.

Now I have to think about the bright side of being married in July.  Which includes thinking about the bad things about our old date that now are irrelevant.

  • I don’t have to worry about “rueing the day.”  Although I just looked it up and the same poem implies marrying in July will make us poor.  Stupid poem!
  • The day after our old date was Mother’s Day, so we won’t inconvenience people who want to spend that weekend with their moms.
  • The weather really sucked this last May.  July is sunnier, right?  [If you are a meteorologist and want to tell me I am wrong, thank you, but I’d rather stay ignorant about this for now.]  And there’s also the fact that it is pretty uniformly hot in July, and my friends, while I love them very much, are a bunch of whiners when it comes to heat.  Maybe weather isn’t an awesome selling point.
  • I don’t have to worry about combination birthday and anniversary gifts from Collin. I never did worry about that, but, well, I need bullets here, people.
  • I have more time to plan the wedding and work on converting, which also means I can focus more on the Bar Exam now.

We still have to pick which weekend in July.  First, I will learn from my old mistake, and do my due diligence to find out which dates don’t work for all essential parties (except for maybe my sister and brother-in-law, who are running around in Spain… but they are programmers, not doctors, and can probably show up for any weekend I demand).

July 2nd is part of a three-day weekend.  Some people think getting married on a holiday weekend is terribly rude because you’re monopolizing your guests’ holiday/imposing greater travel costs, other people think it is awesome because the extra day off adds convenience for your traveling guests.  I don’t think I need to worry too much about which side of this debate is correct because  July 3rd if one of my best friend’s birthdays, and another best friend throws a huge party every July 4, and I don’t really want to pile my wedding on top of those events.

July 9th has a sort of cute date: 07.09.11.  It is two days before another friend’s birthday, but I think that is a little less problematic because she won’t have to worry about being hungover from our open bar on her birthday.  The only disadvantage I can think of now is that proximity to the Fourth of July might make guests grumpy about traveling, or make me miss one of my favorite holidays due to a panicked haze of “OMG I’m getting married in six days.”

July 16th is the day after a full moon, which could result in a fantastic photograph.  But the wedding is inside so this isn’t that significant.

This is hard.  When we were planning a May wedding, we came to the date by process of elimination: avoiding friends’ birthdays and Collin’s parents’ unavailability left me with one date exactly, my birthday, which I thought was awesome.  Now I feel like I am making an epic decision with no helpful guidelines.

I’m so glad I won’t have to pick the specific dates my kids are born.

Ring Thing Solution!

My future mother-in-law Viki found the solution to my ring thing problem: individualized butter dish from Crate & Barrel:

It meets all my criteria: it looks nice (mine is cuter because Viki painted on tiny hearts and swirls), it is relatively cat-proof, I can see inside of it, and it doesn’t appear to be a sex toy.  Thanks, Viki!

In other news, it is my birthday! In The Knot’s imagination, that means I am exactly one year away from our wedding.  Tell it to the imaginary venue we haven’t booked, The Knot!

Speaking of which, tomorrow, despite the varsity-level celebrating I have planned for tonight, we begin a marathon string of venue tours at 9AM.  Any last-minute advice for questions to ask and things to look for at venues?

Failing that, any recommendations for cocktails I should try tonight?

Faster, Pussycat! Marry! Marry!

Apparently, September is the new June: the month everyone wants to get married.  Which means less flexibility in contracts, less availability of vendors, more guests having to choose between attending our wedding and another.  So we’re re-targeting our date from Fall 2011 to Spring 2011.

Collin is all about getting married sooner.  He’d probably be totally cool with getting married next month if we could swing it.

I think I’m less likely to get completely sick of weddings if we cut the engagement down by four months.

There’s also the fact that my birthday, May 7, is on a Saturday in 2011.  Is it totally lame that I think it would be AWESOME to get married on my birthday?  [And for anyone concerned about me getting a combination birthday/anniversary present for the rest of my life, I assure you that Collin will probably only buy me a gift once every ten years or so anyway, and I’ve already accepted that about him.]

My biggest reservation about the switch is based in superstition.  I am embarrassed to admit it, but for a reasonable, logical woman I am really quite superstitious.  Collin, a scientist, finds this even more pathetic than I do.  But I read that May is unlucky for weddings: “Marry in May and you’ll live to rue the day.”

I know it is lame, and the “reasons” for the superstition given on the website I linked to all sound lame to me, but I will still think about that rhyme a lot if we choose a May wedding date.

Well, there’s always April!