Category Archives: Non-flowers

Rethinking The Bouquet Toss

I had previously decided that I would forgo the bouquet toss, for a few reasons.

1. I think it is rude and weird to single out (pun intended, because come on) the unmarried people.

2. My bouquet is made of wire and throwing it at people would be tortious.

But over the weekend I was looking at the proof book for my cousin’s recent wedding. Rocky and Lauren had a very traditional wedding (which I realize sounds like an insult when you say that on a wedding blog, but I don’t mean it as an insult because I’m not cool like that and I’m also not a jerk.) So of course they had the bouquet toss.  And the photos of it are just adorable. And looking at them made me have a pang of… “we should do that.”

Plus there is the fact that I caught the bouquet at my soon-to-be sister-in-law’s wedding, which was awesome. She threw it right at me, but I’m still proud of myself for catching it. And I was so excited and happy. I screamed like a warrior who’d just torn off her opponent’s head with her bare hands. Shouldn’t I pay that joy forward?

And I really want Collin to have to take off my garter with his teeth.

And because I don’t want to take out anyone’s eye…

You can add your own answers to that poll, so if you have a great idea for a thing to toss, please share!

Wedding Work Whirlwind Wrapup

I’m happy to report that Viki and I successfully tackled more than half of our extremely ambitious to-do list for this trip!

  • After a shape/style breakthrough, I finally made serious headway on the bridesmaids’ brooch bouquets.  Look for the tutorial this Sunday on The Broke-Ass Bride!
  • We got the rest of the supplies needed for the DIY invitations.  Wait, except for the custom stamp I keep forgetting to order. Well, most of the rest, then!
  • I successfully convinced Viki that I do not care about escort cards or table number signs and she can do whatever she wants for those as long as it gets people to sit in the right places and does not involve glitter.  Yay delegation!
  • We found a non-custom ring that will probably satisfy Collin’s tremendously picky tastes and unusual preferences for his wedding band.  It is too expensive (the jeweler wouldn’t even tell me how much, just that the designer’s “at cost” quote was higher than my price range), so the jeweler is hunting down similar styles for me. Progress.
  • We acquired the pieces for fabulous mixed metal necklaces for the women in the bridal party and the bridal hootenanny, and laid out the designs for all twelve necklaces. I don’t really care for jewelry and don’t ever wear any other than my engagement ring, but nevertheless this was a really fun project for me. I love the different styles we came up with and can’t wait to see the finished necklaces!
  • We kinda sorta came up with a plan for the chuppah. There was a lot of disagreement about how to properly attach the fabric to the poles. At least we’re working on it?
  • I… um… opened the invitation mail merge in front of Viki? We almost made it to the step where we went through and made sure I know who is a doctor and who is a Mrs., but we scuttled the plan after realizing we were so wiped out from the day’s work that we didn’t even have the energy to eat dinner (not make, EAT).

On the homefront, Collin wasn’t exactly slacking either:

  • He ordered a “super sexy” tux! With details strange enough to prompt the tailor to question, “Are you suuuure you want that?” I don’t get to know what it looks like. Which is only fair I guess, because I’m trying to keep my dress a secret.
  • He asked his cousin Scott to preside over our wedding. We’re self-officiating, but Scott will be our master of ceremonies, so to speak. He talks at large groups of people for a living, so the role suits him.

When I write it out like this with a pesky word counter pointing out my brevity, I feel a little less accomplished. But I’m better off than I was on Tuesday for damn sure, and that will have to do for now.

Brooch Bouquet Bonzanza

I did a lot of work on brooch bouquets today, following Sarah’s instructions.  I think I felt emboldened to work on wedding crafts because my Conservatory Dress went over well at Clue Party (people thought the painted-on checker pattern was always part of the dress, and I cheerfully showed them all the places I made mistakes, because sometimes I’m terrible at accepting compliments).

But remember how I felt when I started working on my Clue dress?  All, “I suck at crafts! Waah!” Right back there today.

First, I kept pricking myself with brooch pins.  Is there some trick to keeping them closed?  Sarah’s method is designed to not destroy the jewelry, and I like that idea so the bouquets can be disassembled and returned to Viki’s incredible stash and incorporated into her future art.  But after a few pricks I started seriously considering gluing the looser pins closed.  On top of my desire to avoid being stabbed myself, I feel like I would be an exceptionally bad bride if I let my sister and future-sisters-in-law be stabbed.  I’m already making them carry around heavy clumps of tangled-up jewelry instead of lightweight and pretty-smelling flowers.

I also had major issues with symmetry. I’m trying to make these smallish, so that I don’t need to use every brooch in the tri-state area. Which meant I couldn’t turn to the obvious solution to an uneven bouquet: adding more pieces to the other side. I tried the upside-down fluffing method, but had mixed results. I think ultimately I will need to add a few more pieces, but take another go at rearranging, preferably after a glass of wine (liquid patience).

But this morning, with a mug of superstrong coffee (liquid “ACK!”), I was about three pin-pricks or two busted clasps away from flipping over my crafting table, the way Jack Bauer would while screaming “WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?” at his needle nose pliers.

Outside the Bubble

I stopped into Michael’s today and picked up a Finding Nemo bath toy with foam noodle as per Sarah’s indispensable instructions for creating a brooch bouquet.  I also picked up some needle nose pliers.

While waiting in line, I noticed the cashier had an engagement ring.  I got really excited.  She’s going to know exactly why I am buying this Finding Nemo toy!

I got to the front of the line.  I handed over my supplies with anticipation.  I was about to experience some real-world bride-to-be bonding.

The cashier scanned the noodle.  I held my breath.  “Hey,” she said.

“Hey!” I said, as though greeting an old friend.

“I think this one is broken.”  She pointed to the Nemo part of the toy.  It was coming off the tubing.

My face fell.  “Oh.”

She tried to reassure me.  “There are lots more back there.”

“No, uh… it’s ok.  I’m really just buying it for the foam noodle part?”

“Oh, ok.”  And that was that.  She dropped the noodle into a plastic bag and asked for my zip code.

Lesson: not everyone is in the wedding blog bubble.  [Which is too bad for everyone.]

Someday I Will Learn How to Spell Boutonniere

We’re still planning on having a flower-free wedding.  While I figured there are plenty of flower-free bouquet alternatives for me and the bridesmaids, when I thought about the number of people in the Bridal Hootenanny I got more nervous.

Then I found out that my mother-in-law Viki has boxes upon boxes of jewelry for use in her art, and was willing to let me poach from this bounty for the bouquets etc.

Partial representation of Viki's stash

I took three gallon-sized ziplock bags of brooches, earrings, wires, beads, and bits of scrap metal.  I am so ridiculously Stage One about this stuff.

So here’s a little tease: two proto-boutonnieres we made last weekend.  Carrie, my future-sister-in-law who is also an artist, added the leaves, which I think really pull the pieces together.

Please note that these are held together by gravity and that I never gave a second of thought as to how these would go through the boutonniere hole (is there a technical term for that? Also, suits don’t have those, do they? Do people in suits not wear boutonnieres? ), so the finished product that has to take practical considerations into account may look quite different.