Ring Things

I just took off my engagement ring while chopping veggies for a pot roast, leaving it in the middle of a table so it wouldn’t accidentally fall into my garbage disposal or anything terrible like that.

Of course, by time I had the Crock Pot set, the ring wasn’t where I left it. I failed to take Collin’s two cats into consideration. They see anything shaped like a circle, and they go nuts over it.

Cue adrenaline spike. Where’s my ring? Did one of the cats EAT the ring? Did they knock it down a vent? Could they have knocked one of the diamonds1 loose?

After a few deep breaths and a quick survey of the floor surrounding the table, I found my ring, perfectly intact. I immediately turned to the Internet to find… those ring things.

It turns out “ring things” is not a very useful search term. So I tried “ring holdy thingy.” Also no dice, but Bing suggested “ring holder,” which I suppose is what I am actually looking for.

Now that I have the proper vocabulary, I’ve found, to my dismay, that there are only two varieties of ring holders readily available:

  1. Ashtrays with a phallic pole in the center:
  2. Animal-shaped figurines that I also find weirdly reminiscent of marital aides:

Ok, I don’t want to have anything like that on my counter, much less pay for it. On the bright side, I’m saved from buying another tchotchke. But I still need a practical way to safely and easily set my ring aside for cooking, showering, and other drain-adjacent tasks. I’d love to hear suggestions!

1Yes, my ring has diamonds in it. No, they aren’t Canadian, and they weren’t cut in the States after I personally reviewed their Kimberly Process Certification. Yes, I realize this damns me to hell. I suspect I’ll write a long, defensive, offensive post about The Trouble With Diamonds one of these days.

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11 responses to “Ring Things

    • Wow, Meredith, those are so much cuter. Thank you! Do you think the first item would look cute on a kitchen counter, for example, without anything normally hanging from it?

      • I like it, but it totally depends on your kitchen. In a small kitchen it might look silly, or in a truly grunky kitchen it would get grunky. In a nice roomy clean-ish kitchen it could look super. Also, that’s just one example, I’m sure smaller cheaper variations exist.

  1. I know that you hate jewelry generally, but what about having a necklace chain that you could put your ring on when not on your hand? It ups your jewelry count to two but it also means the cats can’t get to it.

  2. Have you considered the “dish” route? I think this one is particularly adorable:

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42887729&ref=sr_gallery_2&&ga_search_query=wedding+ring+holder&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&includes%5B%5D=tags&includes%5B%5D=title

    Personally I think it’s a little easier to throw the ring into a cute dish rather than take the extra 2.5 seconds to place it on a holder. And when you’re planning a wedding, those 2.5 seconds add up!

    I also like the tree.

    • I feel like the kitties would be able to get the ring out of the dish.

      Also I’m trying to avoid Etsy until absolutely necessary (read: headpieces) so that I don’t end up allotting 10% or more of my wedding budget to adorable things from Etsy that I don’t really need.

  3. I’ve heard of people using small wooden or metal boxes with a lid. You could definitely find some cool decorative ones in all shapes and styles on Etsy, for example. And you could probably get one with a lid that latched so that 1) the cats couldn’t pry it open and 2) if the box got knocked to the floor, the ring wouldn’t fly out into the strange unknown.

  4. Eh, I just realized you were trying to avoid Etsy. Sorries!

    • Using a box with a lid (perhaps a clear one so I can see with my own eyeballs that the ring is in fact inside) is a great idea, thanks!

      And I can shop on Etsy, as long as I take a double-dose of self-control pills beforehand.

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