I don’t want Collin to know what my wedding dress looks like. This makes July seem even farther away when it already does. [Sidebar: Yes, I am grateful that I am still at the “the wedding is so faaaaar awaaaay I want it now!” phase and not in the “Holy Mother of Uh-Oh the wedding is only X number of days away! ACK!” part yet.] It is going to be hard work for me to keep something I am so excited about a secret for so long.
Carrie pointed out the other day that I can’t say too much about what the dress is not like, or Collin will be able to deduce what the dress does look like. She’s a smart lady.
I decided it would be more fun to answer every question about the dress with a yes. And to otherwise volunteer false information about what the dress looks like. So, for example, watching the original V miniseries yesterday, some 80s-riffic blouse appears, Collin and his buddy shouted, “What up SLEEVES!” and I said, “Ooh it’s just like my dress!”
Tonight we’re seeing Lady Gaga in concert, and I suspect the opportunities to point out sartorial misadventures that are “just like my dress” will be boundless. My dress has shoulder pads inspired by medieval weaponry! My dress is surrounded by hula hoops of glamour! My dress is a direct response to speculation about my biological sex! I can’t wait!
Because Collin does read this blog from time to time, this should also serve as a warning that some of the things I suggest about the appearance of my dress may be less than truthful. In my inevitable “here are 70,000 different bridesmaid dresses” posts, if I suggest that one dress is maybe out of the running because it will clash with the silver accents in my dress, that doesn’t mean my dress has silver accents. It also doesn’t mean my dress DOESN’T have silver accents. This blog no longer as any credibility, is what I’m saying. In addition to lies about my dress, you can expect lots of posts about my fabulous career and my dragon-hunting exploits and my kung fu mastery.